I think I might be going crazy.
Tonight, I worked harder making coffee than I have ever worked at school?
Does that bode well?
I just started reading Lady Chatterley's Lover for my 19th Century British Novel class. I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet. D.H. Lawerence tends to break my heart, and I don't if I can handle that right now. However, this might be different. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have little to no tolerance for cheaters. If you want to be with someone else, be with someone else. Just end it. But, what about the time it was written in? What about impotency? These are tough questions, and the novel is making me think. That's a good thing.
I need a margarita.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky
The Perks of being a Wallflower never fails to make me feel good and stop feeling lonely. That's really all I had to say. Below is some of my most favorite parts. I hope you are happy, person looking at this blog message.
"He's a wallflower."
"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
"It's strange, because sometimes I read a book and I think I am the people in the book."
"Do you always think this much, Charlie?" "Is that bad?" "Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life." "Is that bad?" "Yes."
"I hate you." "I love you." "You're a freak, you know that? Everyone says so. They always have." "I'm trying not to be."
"Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music."
"I really think that everyone should have watercolors, magnetic poetry, and a harmonica."
"I hope it's the kind of second side that he can listen to whenever he drives alone and feel like he belongs to something whenever he's sad. I hope it can be that for him."
"I even made her a mix tape and left it at the grave. I hope you do not think that makes me weird."
"Everyone else is either asleep or having sex. I've been watching cable television and eating jello."
"But the thing is that I can hear Sam and Craig having sex, and for the first time in my life, I understand the end of that poem. And I never wanted to. You have to believe me."
"I don't know. I just had a great day. I hope you did, too."
"He's a wallflower."
"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
"It's strange, because sometimes I read a book and I think I am the people in the book."
"Do you always think this much, Charlie?" "Is that bad?" "Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life." "Is that bad?" "Yes."
"I hate you." "I love you." "You're a freak, you know that? Everyone says so. They always have." "I'm trying not to be."
"Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music."
"I really think that everyone should have watercolors, magnetic poetry, and a harmonica."
"I hope it's the kind of second side that he can listen to whenever he drives alone and feel like he belongs to something whenever he's sad. I hope it can be that for him."
"I even made her a mix tape and left it at the grave. I hope you do not think that makes me weird."
"Everyone else is either asleep or having sex. I've been watching cable television and eating jello."
"But the thing is that I can hear Sam and Craig having sex, and for the first time in my life, I understand the end of that poem. And I never wanted to. You have to believe me."
"I don't know. I just had a great day. I hope you did, too."
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Things I need some help with.
I need an icy. And a nap. And a puppy. And a Tradeback edition of The Night Gwen Stacy Died and the issues surrounding it. And a date with this man: 
If you can help me out with any of the following, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much for your time.
If you can help me out with any of the following, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much for your time.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Birds with Broken necks...
"I know Nothing - nothing in the world - of the hearts of men. I only know that I am alone - horribly alone." - Ford Maddox Ford
Everyone's a liar. That's what Tallula says and I agree. She's just read The Rainbow by D.H. Lawerence. put her in a bad state. Then we caught people lying. Now we think anyone could be a liar. Your beloved, your mother, your best friend, your postman. It doesn't matter, it's not real. That's what I say and Tallula agrees. We convince ourselves that while everyone is a liar, some people are remorseful and that makes it ok. It's probably not true but it will help us sleep. At least for tonight anyways.
***
Tallula is the last person I would have ever expected to have that conversation with. She's sweet and hopeful 99.9% of the time. I guess that speaks to the general awesomeness of The Rainbow. How much something can affect me or those around me tends to be how I (and I'm sure many other people) judge it's merits. Like Closer made me afraid of people for awhile, The Rainbow made her not want to exist.
Not sure why but it upset me to hear her talk like that. And I can't escape the conversation. It seems like everything lately is relating to it. I'm reading the Good Soldier for a class I'm in (yes...that is why that quote is at the top of this blog and for that matter why I'm spending my time blogging on such a downer of a topic in the first place...I'm a happy person really). It's a really interesting novel. The first line is, "This is the saddest story I have ever heard." Maybe it is. I don't really know yet. I haven't really made up my mind about the story's characters yet either...I haven't yet decided who is a good person making bad decisions and who is "rotten at their core." But, the book is good. Plenty of scandal, oh my. But as good as the book is, I'm having a hard time with it. I don't want to think the world's a liar. I don't want to think the world's incapable of of being faithful. Mostly, I just want to live in a Jane Austen novel as opposed to a Graham Greene one.
Truth be told I haven't gotten far enough into it yet to make up my mind. I'm not even sure if I am far enough into it yet to make an informed reccommendation of it. But, whatever. I think you should all read it. So far, it's proven itself very worthy. Here's a link to the wikipedia article on it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Soldier. See for yourself.
Who knows, maybe it has a happy ending???? I know, I know...the saddest story ever told. Chances are slim. All I know is I'm going to spend the next week or so reading about infedelity and heartbreak and death...with a little bit of Harry Potter or Batman thrown in every now and then to lighten the mood.
On a more personal note, I'm thinking it's time to do things differently for awhile. I need to really focus on school for awhile in a way I think I haven't ever before. I've always kind of put other things ahead of it in importance. It should be easy, I already really like my classes this go round. So, this year will consist of little to none of the following: Going out to bars and such, dating, worrying about things I can't change, complaining, and over-extending. It will however consist of reading, writing, friends (hopefully both old and new), guitar playing, knitting, and working.
So that's mostly it for now. I'm going to blog, mostly about what I'm reading and maybe with a few tidbits of myself and my renamed and anonymous friends thrown into the mix. I promise...it won't all be this murky. There will be entire posts devoted to Batman and Potter and maybe I'll even post a few semi-creative things of my own. Welcome to Urberville.
Oh, and one last thing. Since there is no currently listening to option here, I think I will talk for a moment at the end of each post about a song I am really liking. I tend to have a song of the day, at least most days. Today it is These Days by the Mates of State. Or rather, their cover of that song. If you've seen the Royal Tenenbaums or listened to the soundtrack, you are probably already familiar with the original version of this song.. Or, if you are just a Mates of State fan already. If not, give it a listen. It's nice. It's sort of melancholy, yet hopeful. It really fit how I was feeling today. Peace and love to you all.:)
Everyone's a liar. That's what Tallula says and I agree. She's just read The Rainbow by D.H. Lawerence. put her in a bad state. Then we caught people lying. Now we think anyone could be a liar. Your beloved, your mother, your best friend, your postman. It doesn't matter, it's not real. That's what I say and Tallula agrees. We convince ourselves that while everyone is a liar, some people are remorseful and that makes it ok. It's probably not true but it will help us sleep. At least for tonight anyways.
***
Tallula is the last person I would have ever expected to have that conversation with. She's sweet and hopeful 99.9% of the time. I guess that speaks to the general awesomeness of The Rainbow. How much something can affect me or those around me tends to be how I (and I'm sure many other people) judge it's merits. Like Closer made me afraid of people for awhile, The Rainbow made her not want to exist.
Not sure why but it upset me to hear her talk like that. And I can't escape the conversation. It seems like everything lately is relating to it. I'm reading the Good Soldier for a class I'm in (yes...that is why that quote is at the top of this blog and for that matter why I'm spending my time blogging on such a downer of a topic in the first place...I'm a happy person really). It's a really interesting novel. The first line is, "This is the saddest story I have ever heard." Maybe it is. I don't really know yet. I haven't really made up my mind about the story's characters yet either...I haven't yet decided who is a good person making bad decisions and who is "rotten at their core." But, the book is good. Plenty of scandal, oh my. But as good as the book is, I'm having a hard time with it. I don't want to think the world's a liar. I don't want to think the world's incapable of of being faithful. Mostly, I just want to live in a Jane Austen novel as opposed to a Graham Greene one.
Truth be told I haven't gotten far enough into it yet to make up my mind. I'm not even sure if I am far enough into it yet to make an informed reccommendation of it. But, whatever. I think you should all read it. So far, it's proven itself very worthy. Here's a link to the wikipedia article on it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Soldier. See for yourself.
Who knows, maybe it has a happy ending???? I know, I know...the saddest story ever told. Chances are slim. All I know is I'm going to spend the next week or so reading about infedelity and heartbreak and death...with a little bit of Harry Potter or Batman thrown in every now and then to lighten the mood.
On a more personal note, I'm thinking it's time to do things differently for awhile. I need to really focus on school for awhile in a way I think I haven't ever before. I've always kind of put other things ahead of it in importance. It should be easy, I already really like my classes this go round. So, this year will consist of little to none of the following: Going out to bars and such, dating, worrying about things I can't change, complaining, and over-extending. It will however consist of reading, writing, friends (hopefully both old and new), guitar playing, knitting, and working.
So that's mostly it for now. I'm going to blog, mostly about what I'm reading and maybe with a few tidbits of myself and my renamed and anonymous friends thrown into the mix. I promise...it won't all be this murky. There will be entire posts devoted to Batman and Potter and maybe I'll even post a few semi-creative things of my own. Welcome to Urberville.
Oh, and one last thing. Since there is no currently listening to option here, I think I will talk for a moment at the end of each post about a song I am really liking. I tend to have a song of the day, at least most days. Today it is These Days by the Mates of State. Or rather, their cover of that song. If you've seen the Royal Tenenbaums or listened to the soundtrack, you are probably already familiar with the original version of this song.. Or, if you are just a Mates of State fan already. If not, give it a listen. It's nice. It's sort of melancholy, yet hopeful. It really fit how I was feeling today. Peace and love to you all.:)
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